Self-Image
Throughout my research and work on behavior design, this is the overwhelming deciding factor in long term behavior change. You will do things that are "You" and you will avoid things that are "Not You"
For example I am an athlete that is how I perceive myself. Therefore, I need to do things that athletes do so it is easy for me to start habits and behaviors that people expect from athletes. I have no problem working out. I have no problem eating healthy, I have no problem picking up new sports because that is what I believe of myself and I need to be consistent. This is called self-congruence. Self-Congruence is aligned and I am happy when they way I perceive myself = the way I think I am being perceived = the way you are perceiving me.
For example: I am happy and self-congruent when I view myself as an athlete, you view me as an athlete, and I think you think I am an athlete. When these three things are aligned, behavior change is easy.
Where and how things break down:
1. I think I am an athlete, I think you think I am an athlete, you don't think I am an athlete. In this situation I may come across as arrogant or annoying. This can cause strain for my habits, but it is the least harmful because what I believe is the most important (read "only") opinion that matters for change.
2. I think I am an athlete, I don't think that you think I am an athlete, you think I am an athlete. This scenario is harder to deal with but not impossible. Again, I think I am an athlete so I will try to do things that convince others, however, if I don't change how I perceive others viewing me, then the friction on the behavior can cause it to grind to a halt.
3. I don't think I am an athlete, I don't think you think I am an athlete, you don't think I am an athlete. This scenario will make it impossible to change behavior until the person changes their beliefs about themselves. this person may be able to start something athletic, but eventually they will stop.
The third group is where most people reside when it comes to New Years Resolutions. They start a fitness program, but they don't view themselves as fit and they don't think others think they are fit so because their self-image isn't of a fit person, eventually they will stop going.
The same can be applied to dieting or any other activity like dancing or writing. Anything where you can say either "I am a..." or "I am not a..."
So, who are you? What habits are you trying to form that align with your beliefs of who you are? What habits are you trying to form that are out of line with who you think you are? Why do you hold beliefs about who you are as opposed to who you are not?
In the next post I am going to dive deeper into understanding the unconscious nature of self-image and how we acquire our beliefs about who we are.
As always feel free to email me thoughts or questions at [email protected]. Also, If you have any ideas for a post, I am all ears. This can include topics you want to learn more about, or questions you want answered.